Butterflies
by Knewitwouldendthisway
Summary: "I was stupid when I thought I was in love. I should've known that both of us were blind. But my wings had sprouted, and I wasn't down to earth. I was flying in the sky, smiling and laughing and creating memories that I thought would be something to hold onto. Now? They're just something I want to forget." Another Demena story, told through girls who both just want a happy ending
1. Catch Me

**I'm hoping this will get me out of my writers block, because I'm having a hard time updating a couple of my other ones. So here ya go! Oh, and if you guys ever have questions or want to talk, PM me! :)**

_Before I fall, too fast. _

_Kiss me quick, but make it last. _

_So I can see how badly this will hurt me, when you say goodbye. _

OoO

It just doesn't always turn out to be a fairy tale. It's not all about the smiles, the laughs, and the butterflies after all.

Why do we describe seeing someone we love as feeling butterflies? Is it _really _the tingling in our stomach, or something more?

The fact that anything could be used as an analogy makes some of us wonder: why _do _we use butteflies? And now, I think I've had it figured out.

Love is beautiful, and flutters about, making us light hearted and happy. To an observer, love is special and free. Just like a butterfly, love has wings that can take us anywhere we like, and as long as we have those wings we aren't anchored to the world.

Or, at least, we don't think we are.

Love is carefree, and makings things special, just like a butterfly.

But love, when it leaves, makes the things it left behind so much less meaningful and less colorful. Just like a butterfly taking flight and leaving a flower behind. The flower isn't as special anymore. It's just a normal flower.

The same can be said for love.

I was stupid when I thougth I was in love. I should've known that both of us were blind. But my wings had sprouted, and I wasn't down to earth. I was flying in the sky, smiling and laughing and creating memories that I thought would be something to hold onto. Now? They're just something I want to forget.

She was everything I wanted. Crazy, beautiful..._real_. She was funny and made me laugh: a feat that not many can accomplish. She was mine, best of all, and I was hers. We were going to live life together, always holding on.

So what happened?

Was it me? Had she even liked me at all the entire time? Had she been leading me on for the purpose of playing with my heartstrings? Was it all just a game? A week ago we were so happy. What happened to that?

OoO

_Her hair was dancing behind her in the wind. Pink tinted those perfect cheeks, and her brown eyes sparkled as she laughed. Her hand was in mine, and I couldn't have felt more free. We were walking through the town, observing different Christmas lights and attempting to judge them. _

_ "What are you staring at?" She looks at me, and I feel a swoop in my stomach, like I just missed a step on the stairs. _

_ "Nothing." I pretend to be looking at a lit up Santa Claus behind her. _

_ She laughs, squeezing my hand for a second before letting it go. The sudden loss of the warmth made me shiver. _

_ To make up for it, she turned and wrapped her arms around me, her breath tickling my ear. "I can't wait to spend forever with you," she breathed. _

_ My heart stopped, and I smiled into her hair, not wanting to let the moment go. _

_ So we stood there in the snow, in eachother's arms, and I'd never felt so perfect. _

OoO

We were just out of high school. Even now, without school it just feels odd. It's crazy to think how different my life was only seven days ago. In love, thinking I'm going to marry someone who hadn't even proposed. My mother used to always say, "If there's no ring, then there won't be no marraige!"

I scoffed. But she was right. It was too soon, I fell too hard, I was too blind, and now I'm going to die regretting my choices.

My choices to love _her_.

The snow falls past my window and I can just _feel _the pain eroding my insides, making me taste metal and blood and regret. All alone, in a small apartment space where we were supposed to start our family, I figure I should've figured it out a long time ago.

But I didn't, and now I have nowhere to go. I'm a broken hearted eighteen year old who works as a waitress at a shabby restaraunt down at the corner. I'm a stupid, thoughtless girl who has a full bank account but an empty, gaping soul.

I'm Alex Gomez, classic tomboy, sassy diva, and, currently, a downright nobody who doesn't even have her other half anymore. She just sits alone in the apartment that belongs to her, and, of course, Mitchie Lovato.

MITCHIE-

I stare out the window, wondering what she's thinking right now. One hand is on my stomach, and the other is on the glass, freezing my fingertips and making a shiver run down my back. Did she know how much I was hurting? Did she care? Was she thinking about me, or was she already moving on?

Didn't she know I was dying inside? I thought something like this might happen in the end, but I had been too afraid to say anything. The past month of our relationship has been the best thirty days of my life, and I didn't want to ruin it. But something like this... you can't hide it forever.

What happened to our love? I thought she really did love me, but she abandoned me. What happened to the girl from a week ago?

XxX

_I burst through the door of our apartment, smiling like an idiot. She's sitting on the bed, messing with her phone. When she sees me, she immediately gets up and wraps me in a hug. _

_ The embrace is inviting and warm. I let myself sink into the comfort of her arms for a second longer, then pull back. _

_ "I'm so excited!" I finally blurt, not able to hold it back anymore. She smirks at my obvious happiness. _

_ "What is it, Mitch?" _

_"Guess who got a promotion at work!" I squeal, bouncing up and down. _

_ She stifles a laugh. "You did?"_

_ "YES!"_

_ "That's great! Now you can buy me more junk food!" She teases, but I don't let her get to me. I'm too used to it. _

_ I hit her on the arm. "Shut up, Gomez, you don't need the calories." _

_ "Says the one who's getting a little chubby." She gestures towards my stomach, and I blush, pulling my already loose sweatshirt lower. _

_ "You're not supposed to say that to a girl."_

_ "I'm not supposed to kiss a girl either, but I do all the time." She pulls me in, letting her lips linger only a hairs breadth away before brushing them against mine lovingly, making my toes tingle. _

_ "Yeah, well, that's different." I'm still a little light headed about the kiss, but I don't let her get to me. _

_ She shrugs like she doesn't care, and I shake my head. Typical Alex. Give her some food, she's happy. Give her some logic, she doesn't care. _

_ There's a knock on the door, and a teenage boy is behind it, holding a huge bouquet of red roses. He hands them to me, mumbles something under his breath, and then scampers away._

_ Alex comes from behind me and grabs the little card that's wedged between the stems. "Dear Mitch," she read aloud, "congratulations on your promotion! Maybe we could celebrate a little bit later today! What do you say to five o' clock? Your favorite boss, Shane."_

_ She looks up at me, frowning, and I can see jealousy sparked in her eyes. "Since when did your 'favorite boss' send a fifty dollar bunch of roses, and then offer to take you on a date?"_

_ "It's nothing." I snatch the card away. _

_ I feel terrible with the action as soon as it's done. Alex looks at me with her hurt face, chocolate brown eyes wide and all glittery, and I cave. "If you really want me to tell him I can't go, then I will."_

_ She seems to struggle with the offer. If she says I should stay, then she would seem overly clingy and jealous. If she says I can go, then she might be allowing an opportunity for a long night of hitting on her girlfriend. _

_ "Fine." She finally huffs. "But I want you back by ten at the latest." _

_ "Yes dad." I mock in a high pitched tone, making her lunge for me. I step back and avoid her arms, laughing as she stumbles. _

XxX

Why did that all have to change? It wasn't like anything was my fault. But she had told me she never wanted to see me again. If I really loved her, I would let her go.

Since when did I start listening to all that movie crap? If I really loved her, I would fight for her, and that's what I was going to do.

I reach for my phone, but then stop, hand halfway there. _She's _the one who told me she never wanted to see me again. _She _was going to have to be the first one to make a move.

But I needed to see her. I needed to kiss her again, to feel those arms wrapped around me and protecting me.

I need my Alex back.

ALEX-

The truth is, I can't be with Mitchie anymore. I can't torture myself with thougths of 'what if' and reuniting. It's too late.

The damage done is permenant. I can't erase it, and neither can she. Mitchie was my life, but apparently I wasn't enough.

That's why she's pregnant with Shane Jonas' baby.


	2. My Dilemma

**(To listen to the song for the background, go to Youtube and type in Sparrow- Sad Beautiful Piano Music Calm by Miika Mettianinen. THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE! :3 ) There's gonna be a lot of POV switching in this chapter, but bear with me, it's for a reason.**

_Here's my dilemma  
One half of me wants ya  
And the other half wants to forget  
My-my-my dilemma  
From the moment I met ya  
I just can't get you out of my head _

OoO

I frown down at my hands. They're cold, so cold. I know they'd warm if they were being held with hers, but I stifle the thought and bite my tongue hard.

I couldn't let this get to me. Sure, I had thought we were going to be married. Sure, I thought we were going to grow old together. Sure, I thought I was going to die in her arms...

Tears are trying to escape but I won't let them. I have to hold onto them, because they're all I have left. I should've seen this coming. The signs could only point to one thing.

OoO

_"Alex," the girl in the bed next to me groaned._

_ "Mm?" I woke up and glanced at her, worried. Her face was pale and her normally sparkly brown eyes were wide and bloodshot. _

_ "What's wrong?" I ask, immediately concerned._

_ "I..I.." she got up and bolted for the bathroom. I hear retching and then the splatter of things hitting the bottom of the toilet. The sound makes me want to puke, too, but I pull myself together and hurry to her aid._

_ She's just finishing up when I get there. When she looks up, her eyes are full of tears and fear._

_ "It hurts," she says, the droplets spilling over._

_ "Do we need to take you to a doctor?" I lean over to try to hug her, but she pushes me away._

_ "No," she says hurriedly. Almost _too _hurriedly. "Not the doctor!"_

_ "Mitchie, you're sick..."_

_ "Not. The. Doctor."_

_ What else was there to do but hold her? We were sitting on the tiled floor together, her in my arms. Nothing would hurt more to me then her suffering, but I knew she was too stubborn to listen to me, so I kissed her forehead and whispered nothings in her ear, hoping to soothe the pain away._

OoO

No wonder she didn't want me to go to the doctors. She didn't want to be caught.

I turned and scowled in the mirror. I looked like a mess, but as long as my outer appearance reflected how I was feeling, that was alright with me. And I _felt _like a mess.

I just don't get it. How long does it take for someone to stop loving another? Because I don't think I can handle this feeling anymore. This feeling of betrayal.

What did she want from me? Was I not enough? Did she not see how much pain this would cause me? She was the one who knew me best, so why on earth did she think getting pregnant was okay?

But right now, I needed her. I needed to hear her excuses. I needed to hear her lies. I just needed _her._

Against all logic and common sense, I get in my car and drive over to the place where she's staying; a small place in the corner of town. It's even tinier then our... I mean my apartment. We need to work things out, and I have to know why Mitchie would think this is okay.

MITCHIE-

I'm laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling, when the doorbell rings. I'm not expecting company, so I'm surprised.

"Coming!" I yell. Heaving myself up from my sitting position and into a standing one, I make my way to the door. When I open it, I'm not prepared for the girl on my doorstep.

"Hi," Alex says, staring at her feet. Her hair is just as silky looking as I remember it, covered with a purple beanie. A scarf is wrapped around her neck, and her cheeks are flushed with the cold.

I don't know what to do but stare. I see her eyes wander down to the bulge in my midsection before darting away.

This seems to remind her why she came. She pushes past me and goes into my living room.

"I want answers," she calls back behind her, but she doesn't sound angry. She just sounds sad, and that hurts even more than her screaming at me. The plain sorrow and defeat in her tone make my heart crack in two.

There's nothing else to do but follow her. I go back to my couch and sit down, but she's pacing back and forth.

"I just don't get it," she says. "I thought you loved me. I thought we were going to..." her voice breaks, "...get married. I thought we were going to go to college together and then maybe have a family."

Her gaze goes back to my stomach before burning into my face. "I just don't get it Mitchie. Please, just tell me what happened."

"'Lex..."

"Don't call me that."

"Listen, I told you already. I was at a party at work and then I ended up getting drunk. When I woke up, it had already happened. I don't even remember anything."

I'm desperate for her to just hold onto the words and believe me.

"But Mitchie, you _don't drink._"

ALEX-

I wanted to throw something. She was just telling the same lies she had been this whole time, and I'm just getting tired of it. Maybe I should walk out and leave.

She's sitting there, fiddling with the hem of her sweatshirt. I should've noticed that the reason her stomach was growing was because she had a baby, not because she was getting chunky. Mitchie is a health manic, she would never let herself go that much. I can't imagine the horror she's feeling now, especially since she can't do anything about it.

The fact was, she _doesn't _drink! Not only is she underage, but she thinks drinking is stupid and I have to agree with her. I'll admit, I've tried a couple of beers, but in all honesty, the stuff is nasty.

Mitchie getting drunk is too much to believe. I can tell she wants me to believe it, but if I do decide to pretend to think she 'got drunk,' how will it affect our future. Besides, I don't want our relationship to be built on lies.

"You need to trust me," she begged finally, her chocolate brown orbs wide and fragile. I knew she would break if I said the wrong thing.

I sighed. "How can I trust you after you went and did _that_?!"

She knows exactly what I'm talking about. I notice her hand move over her midsection, as if to protect the baby from me. "You always said you wanted kids."

"When did I say that?"

"Junior year, remember?"

OoO

_I give the guy a ten and he hands me back some change and two coffees. I carry the drinks back to my coffee table, where I'm joined with a very beautiful brunette._

_ "Thank you," she blushed when I handed her her cup, making me smile._

_ "So, anything new at your house?"_

_ She grinned. "Yeah, my sister is having a baby!"_

_ "Really?" I was immediately interested._

_ "Yeah. Babies are so cute," she says._

_ "When I grow up, I'm gonna have a huge family," I sigh, imagining it all._

_ "You'd make a great mother."_

OoO

"That was when I thought I'd have a kid with someone I loved," I choked on my words. "I love you Mitchie, but that kid isn't mine."

Her expression only shattered my feelings into a thousand pieces and scattered it across the floor. Every thought that went through my head was a shard being stabbed through my ribs. It felt like everything was closing in on me, and I struggled to breathe.

Then I saw her face morph into a closed one. Her eyes dimmed, the smile wrinkles in her eyes disappeared, and her lips mashed into a straight line.

"This baby isn't Shane's," she finally says in an even tone. "This baby is yours. And the second you leave this house, you leave us. So go ahead, Alex. Leave. You know where the door is."

MITCHIE-

When I had found out I was pregnant, I thought Alex would be one of those sweet, supportive girls who would be with me no matter what and all that. She had promised to love me no matter what. Sure, we hadn't taken any stupid vows, and there wasn't a rock on either of our fingers, but I didn't think that mattered.

Now I realized it did.

She looks at me now, obviously torn. I can tell she wants to storm out and wait for me to run after her. Alex was always the one who was apologized to. She's always the one who gets run after. But now that I've put down my foot, she doesn't know what to do. She can't run now.

"Mitch..." she manages. "I can't let you do this to me. You can't rip out my heart and then try to put it back in. I'm scarred for good. You can't fix this."

I walk up and look at her in the eye. "I can't, but _we _can. Alex, I might be a teenager, but we can still make this work. I definitely won't be able to go to college, but hey, that doesn't matter. I can still make a little money at Chasm's Cafe, and you can go to college if you like. We can survive with this baby."

"Wait, you can make a little money at the Cafe... he _fired_ you?" Alex looked ready to kill. Her fists were clenched and shaking in anger.

"He didn't fire me. I quit," I explain quickly before she did something stupid. "He doesn't know about... the baby."

I can tell I've surprised her from the way her jaw is nearly touching the floor. "He doesn't know... you _have to tell him_!"

She sounds both scared and determined, and that's what I love about her. Even when it comes to things like telling a guy her girlfriend is pregnant with his baby, she does what's right. But when it comes to this, I can't tell him, though she hopefully will never find out why.

For now, it's better to just nod and go with it, though. So I do.

Although I can tell she's not convinced. What happened to the times when I could just wink and do whatever I wanted?

XxX

_"Mitchie, it's your turn to do dishes," Alex says, waving at me airily. Her favorite show is on, and her eyes are glued to the screen._

_ "But 'Lex," I whine, "I don't wanna."_

_ "Oh no," she says, turning so she can stare me right in the eye. "I'm not going to fall for that again. You haven't done dishes in forever. I'm Alex Gomez. I don't _do _dishes."_

_ "You've been doing dishes for almost a week in a row," I snort at her. She glares at me, then returns her gaze to the screen._

_ "C'mon, _please_?!" _

_ I know if I'm persistent she can't resist. Sure enough, she groans loudly, turns off the TV, and goes to the sink._

_ Smirking, I turn on my own show, one she honestly can't stand. I hear her groaning even louder, so I press mute and tiptoe in there._

_ She doesn't see me coming, so she nearly jumps out of her skin when I kiss her on the cheek. "Love you. You're the best girlfriend ever."_

_ "Tell me something I don't know," she replies, rolling her eyes, but I can see a pleased grin twitching at the corners of her mouth._

XxX

"We'll talk about this later," she warns me."But for now, I need to do something."

"What's that?" I ask. My heart is going three times as fast as it was. Is she going to leave after all?

My concerns quickly vanish when she takes a step forward, making our noses brush. At first, I think she's going to kiss me, but instead, she retreats back to where she was.

She stifles a laugh at my disappointed expression. "What?"

"Why didn't you kiss me?"

"Because Shane probably kissed you."

"So?"

"I'm not sharing lips with a jerk like that," she scoffs.

"What does that mean, you're never going to kiss me again?"

This time, she really does laugh. "Are you kidding? I couldn't survive that. You have to cleanse your mouth, though."

Now I'm scared. "How do you propose I do that?"

XxX

I can't believe she made me eat soap... though it brought me back to my childhood days when I used to try out new words in front of my parents. Now I'm sitting on the couch with Alex. We're both laughing, but I can feel the tension in the air.

I have secrets.

She probably has secrets.

We aren't fixed. We aren't even close.


End file.
